ok so i'm babysitting

yeah i'm over babysitting for kids who go to my church making money to buy all my x-mas gifts.
i was just thinking well actually i've been thinking about this, and maybe it sounds really lame, but i'm feeling really rebellious. like i'm getting really sick of being a good kid. i was thinking and isn't like high school your time to kind of do whatever the hell you want so that when you're old you won't have to. i want to start doing more stuff, and stop worrying about my parents and consequences so much. ha ha i realize this sounds really really stupid, but it's the truth.
anyway, i don't know if i ever wrote that we won states. yep, cghs girls team are the state champs! i had a really good race then too, i came in 4th and ran 19:20 even though my time should be way faster. i have more to say but i'm gonna try and find a pic of myself somewhere so that i can have one on my stupid profile. -bernie-

oh my goodness

wow, so it's been a really really long time since i last wrote anything in here. i guess i have a few dumb excuses for that. 1) I have no time in my life at all anymore 2) i'm hesitent to actually write what's going through my mind in here in case the wrong person reads it. 3) i don't think anyone really reads this anyway.
ok so uhh my life as of now...
well let me start out by saying boys really suck, really they do. it's been so depressing to me lately that no boys like me. especially seeing as melissa and justine both have bf's. grrr. i mean i completely understand, but they talk about them all the time, i would too if i had one. anyway it kind of makes me wonder, as pathetic as this sounds, what i'm doing wrong, because i mean i can't really see anything that unattractive about myself. ok i'm not goregeous but i'm not ugly i don't think. unless i'm one of those ppl who just is really ugly and has no idea... man that would suck. anyway, i know all that sounds really shallow or whatever but it's honestly what i think about a lot.

hmm what else, well this week was my first full week of school in like FOREVER, and i think my grades are screwed because of it. i had a 3.9 last quarter, which is my highest gpa ever. maybe it doesn't sound that good to you, but i was so damn proud of it. i'll probobly have like 2.0 this quarter. sucks. i speant all this week making up work from last week and next week i have exams which i'm totally not ready for at all! ahhh. oh well, it'll pass. oh so i was out because i had "sinusitis" aka a sinus infection, but that shit was AWFUL. geez, i was seriously in bed unable to do anything for like 10 days and felt sooo bad. :-(
anyway i'm still kinda getting over it, my nose is crazy runny, and it sucks. i had to blow my nose in algebra yesterday and everyone was like " oh gross, sick" etc, and it was embarrising. oh and we had mass at school and i had to leave in the middle, to blow my nose, walking down the belachers in front of everyone! gahhhh. being sick is soo bad.
oh well whatever. also i had to run footlocker while iwas sick! and i ran my worst time in years, and cried like a physco. plus scranton was not very forgiving. we fought. i've been fightin w/ ppl a lot lately, that can't be good. i fought with my dad like all this week, wednesday iwas soo pissed at him i can't even put it in words. we're straight now, but this was a pretty bad week.hmm so let's see how this comes out and later when i'm bored i'll write more. -Bernadette-